Thursday, September 24, 2009

Is It Tomorrow, Yet???

Well, I am here, waiting for tomorrow, but I have stuff going on that I don't think anyone really wants to hear about.

Two of my kids are moving, so I am furiously looking for at least one more to watch, and I haven't been able to find one. I need to pay the bills, after all. And while I can still (barely) joke about it, it's really not that funny. I am not sure what I am going to do....... I have put ads on Craig's List, and mostly gotten emails about getting out of debt....scams, I am sure.

Anyway, we are also still ttc....... I don't know about how much to share, so I am not sharing. Let's just say I think it would be a lot easier if we were younger and not working, or even if David didn't work shift work, including alternately working nights and days. Hope that wasn't TMI. I have gone to bed every night praying for a pregnancy.

I've lost all my humor about this too. And, yes, I know I'm an impatient wimp. We haven't been trying for very long at all.

Also, the last days of watching Kassidy and Cade are marred because their mom is taking them two days early so she doesn't have to pay me for those days...she just up and decided yesterday and their last days (were)are Monday and Tuesday. That doesn't help my money situation...AT ALL.

I'm so depressed I don't even feel like putting a picture up here.

I find myself scolding myself about being a 'good' christian. I know that God provides for everything we need. My whole life is a testimony to that. It says not to worry in the Bible more than anything else. I know it's a sin.

I also know that God's timing is perfect. He has a plan that is bigger and better than anything I could even imagine. I know I should rest easy knowing that whatever happens if God's will and by default means that it is the best thing for our family.

I also know that no matter what their mom does, God will take care of us, so I should not be bitter about her choice to take them early just so she doesn't have to pay. Whatever she decides should have no bearing on my attitude.

But it is still hard.

It's only temporary.

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