Sorry.......

So, even though I am fifteen weeks pregnant, and out of a job (basically) I feel like I have nothing to say. Plus, I am without a camera right arm right now so I really feel at a loss as to what even to put here. Hopefully that will be resolved around October.

Anyway, things are going great with the baby. Things in one other area are not going great though.

In June with three days notice-even though I had saved a spot for their son for TEN MONTHS-Madison's parents pulled her out to be watched by her grandmother. We were ok at first, but things are getting pretty dire now.

Remember how when I was asking God about either getting pregnant or not getting pregnant, He said He was waiting until I could 'have what I want'? Well, I am beginning to think that the 'what I want' is to stay at home and NOT watch kids.

The question is...HOW?

Am I going to need to find another way to make money?

Is David going to get a raise?

Is David going to sell the boat...or are we going to make other adjustments?

When I was pregnant in February, Kiah (the baby I still have right now) was supposed to go to her toddler day care in November. I was due October 31.

Then I miscarried.

Then I got pregnant again. Kiah's mom informs me that she needs to stay in my care-the other day care doesn't have a spot-until January. I'm due February 7.

I have been searching and begging searching for more kids to watch. None have come up. And honestly, my heart just isn't in it anymore.

Don't all these things seem like God is closing the door on watching kids?

The thing is we need the paycheck right now.

On a different note, through this time, David and I have begun handling our finances in a way that I am more comfortable with. So I am excited about that.

Also, in the past through a time like this, David's stress and anxiety would overwhelm him to the point that he was NOT a person you could be around. He would blame me. Call me lazy. Say that if it were him without a job he would..(fill in the blank).

But this time, he has not really done that. We are still really close, and even though things are fixing to get really bad, we are still loving each other. So that is good too.

I have one lead on some kids to watch, and if this doesn't pan out, it's going to get stressful around here.

So maybe y'all could pray for our eyes to be opened to what God's plan for us is, and also pray for some peace until His plan can be realized.

Thanks for being patient.....